French Tips

Bonsoir,

I feel that my time in Paris so far (coming up to 6 months), justifies a small helpful array of tips on surviving in Paris as a non-Parisian.

Here goes:

- When asking for a latte in Parisian restaurants/cafes do not fall for the tourist trap and demand a "cafe au lait", which the French see as bowls of coffee and milk that accompany breakfast at home, but ask for a cafe créme. This gives you a more assertive air. You are letting the waiter know that you may be foreign but you are not another run of the mill easily duped tourist! Please note, this is not idiot proof.

- On a similar note, when asking for a beer "un demi" is decidedly more French and will prevent the waiter from plonking down a huge 50cl expensive glass of a beer that you may not like.

- Tips are included in the bill. This took me a long time to realise as I would always almost automatically round up the bill, which in Paris is usually rather dear. The French system incorporates a service charge at all times. This may explain the rude behaviour of some waiters.

- Although rude French waiters serve as standard jokes made about the French, when you are served by a genuinely polite person who patiently deals with your minimal and badly-pronounced French it is a great experience and restores my faith in Parisian codes of conduct.

- It is worth noting that how you are treated often depends on how you act. True, this ought to be obvious but in England the motto that the customer is always right may be deployed with obvious sarcasm and disdain, but a certain facade of politeness is maintained nonetheless. It is not so in Paris. If you are loud, boshy and arrogant (I hate to say it but Americans tend to adhere to this stereotype) you will be treated as such. That is to say, ignored. I read somewhere that the official French motto on serving standards is "le client est roi" (the customer is king) and that this ought to warn you about being rude and impatient with French staff, given the final outcome of the French Royal Family.

I will update this list when more things occur to me. For now, I will end with an incident from the weekend. Friends and I were wandering around the Marais, as one should on a Sunday in Paris, and decided to enjoy some cafe cremes and chocolat chauds at a nearby cafe. The cafe is called Le Voltigeur and it is home to the best hot chocolate I have ever tasted. Seriously. The milk comes in a seperate jug and the chocolate is a kind of fondue which you deliriously pour in with the milk into your cup. As we enjoyed these drinks, you should know that we were sat inside directly by the glass windows which looked out onto more tables outside belonging to the cafe.

At such a table sat an elderly man, woollen cap and all, casually reading a gay porno. I say reading, there weren't any words on the page as far as we could see. He was evidently completely unaware of the crowd of people huddled at tables inside behind where he sat, and thought himself rather clever for disguising said gay porno in the cover of another, less provocative kind of magazine. My eyes have only just recovered from the images they were made witness to. Eventually, a friend of this man joined him at which point the porn mysteriously vanished. A hilarious if somewhat disturbing experience and a humorous reminder that Le Marais is just as notorious for its gay vibe as its Jewish one.

P.S. If you get a chance, check out the amazing chocolat chaud at Le Voltigeur which is situated at 45, rue Francs Bourgeois near the Rue des Rosiers (which is one of the best streets to go in Le Marais and the only one to get a great Falafel!).

A bientot